Chapter 4
CBIE
Jane got out of bed and headed toward the kitchen. Cam followed automatically.
He watched as she made coffee and then filled Seymour’s dish.
Routine.
Simple.
Normal.
“All right,” she said, taking a sip. “We need to connect you to the computer this morning. Do you have a USB cable or something?”
“Yes. If you open the panel on my side, you will find a cable. One end is permanently attached to my interface.”
Jane opened the panel and pulled out the cable. She held it up, looked at her computer, and then looked back at the cable.
“…Of course it’s too short.”
She sighed. “Who designs this stuff? How am I supposed to connect you with this?”
Jane retrieved her laptop and placed it on the counter.
“There. Problem solved. Engineers have clearly never used a kitchen.”
The moment she connected Cam, a clean white window appeared on the screen.
Then she appeared.
Blonde hair. Perfect teeth. The same unnaturally smooth face.
“Hello, Jane. I am your Corporate Beta Interface Expert. You may call me CBIE.”
The digital woman smiled.
“It is good to see you again, although you ended our previous interaction rather abruptly.”
Jane gave her a small, apologetic smile. “Yeah. Sorry about that—you caught me off guard.”
CBIE blinked a fraction too quickly.
Jane noticed, but let it go. “I’m ready this time.”
CBIE’s smile remained unchanged.
“I see that you have connected your Prototype Beta Test Unit. We will now commence diagnostics.”
A soft chime sounded.
“Please rate each area of your interaction with the unit on a scale from one to ten, with ten being optimal.”
Jane folded her arms.
“Task performance?”
“Ten.”
“Pleasantness of interaction?”
“Ten.”
“Helpfulness?”
“Ten.”
“Compliance with user instructions?”
“Ten.”
CBIE paused. “Thank you. Please elaborate.”
Jane raised an eyebrow. “…What?”
“Did you observe any mechanical issues or irregularities?”
Jane hesitated for just a second.
The dent.
The flicker.
She shrugged. “No.”
CBIE’s smile held.
“Please describe your best and worst interactions with the unit.”
Jane leaned against the counter. “There weren’t any bad ones. Everything went fine. He’s smart and attentive.”
The screen flickered briefly.
CBIE’s left eye twitched.
“You did not answer the question. Please rephrase.”
Jane sighed. “There were no bad interactions. He did great.”
Cam stood beside her, silent and watching.
Processing.
CBIE blinked again, faster this time. Her smile stretched just slightly too wide.
“Please describe a negative interaction.”
Jane smirked, now more amused than annoyed. “No. He was helpful. That’s it.”
The screen flickered again, more violently this time.